My love for you will always remain, for this big heart of mine can love infinitely. I hope, no matter the circumstances, you feel that my love is still yours. I am not used to feeling like this. It hurts thinking about what I dislike. But I can't stop. It's like the dark thoughts are consuming me. It's so exhausting. I'm just another broken fucked-up girl that is unable to deal with reality. I do not deserve anyone. I do not deserve to be loved. No matter how scared I am or fear to be abandoned I deeply love you with all my heart and mind and never want to leave your side. I am so confused, I'm filled with self-hatred and I don't know what to do! Many times, for a long time I have been thinking about ways to disappear and never be found. Recently, I have been thinking about that again. Going to a place where no one knows you. You are nobody. You solely exist. You never stay at one place too long. No responsibilities whatsoever. It's just you and the freedom. A traveler with no certain destination.
It's the fear that's possessing me.
The kind of fear where something happens that you were scared of all along.
And when it happens. My heart would be completely fucking shattered that I'd want it to be completely ripped out.